No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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