Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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