Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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