so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
