My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
