sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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