my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
