i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I love you.
Bad choice
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize