talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
