she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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