Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
