i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
