When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
