I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
