swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
