I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
