just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
