Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
