I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
