Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
