big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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