I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
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You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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