His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
