I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
