oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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