Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
