The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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