perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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