porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
