...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
