do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is Oprah even human
Randomize