Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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