Soap is not a condiment
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
