Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
