yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
