so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
