Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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