Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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