We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
