can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
