she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
