I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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