I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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