I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize