Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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