Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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