I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize