Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize