If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
