I look better un-naked...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
