I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have already put on my inside pants.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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