you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
