i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am available for nakedness
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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