I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
