She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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