I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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