You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
wow bdsm is so cute
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
