You're my little dorito
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
and you fell through a lawn chair
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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