I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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