Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
